please pray

i am writing this on saturday night... coming up from the river about 1 hour ago, david fell on his bike and hit his head on some rocks. he does not look like he broke anything (other than maybe his nose) and he is currently conscious, although he does not remember anything. we are guessing that at the least he is suffering from a concussion. duane, leslie, david and joe all flew into guatemala city to a hospital there and are in the air right now. we ask for your prayers right now... for safety during the flight, david's safety and health, and peace and clarity of mind for duane and leslie. thank you.

Grace in all things...

One of the things I learned long ago, working as a nurse in the pediatric ICU, is that it is easy to build walls around your heart...walls of protection against the pain of watching children and parents suffer. But I also learned that once those walls are there, you become hardened to the suffering and you can no longer feel the compassion of God - either flowing to you or through you to others. I remember the days of asking God to make my heart soft again, to make me compassionate again. And He did.

It is a temptation once again, to build those walls, as I spend yet another sleepless night, remembering the faces and conversations that I have had in the last few weeks with people who are desperate. They are desperate because they are running out of food, and there is no work and no rain. Food prices are soaring as corn becomes more scarce. So they come asking, many times begging for food. Now, I know that some needs are not really legitimate...but many others are - and how do I know? And how do I tell people about a God who loves and cares for them and then say "no, I can't help you." So "I earnestly ask for your prayers..." (Psalm 38:22). Pray that our hearts remain soft, that we have discernment to judge rightly the need, that we manage the resources that we are given wisely, and that we can effectively share the love of God.

Not everything has been difficult. The arrival of our son Ryan, his wife Katie and our two grandsons has brought us much joy. How blessed we are to have all three of our grandchildren so close! One of my favorite quotes is from a man named Graham Cooke. He talks a lot about the kindness of God to us each day - but that we have to look for that kindness. He says, "God always gives us grace - some days it is grace to enjoy, other days it is grace to endure." How true....

"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6.

Craig announced last week that he will be leaving by the end of the month. After much prayer, he feels that this is what God is calling him to do. For the last year, Craig has lived with us and has become like one of our sons. He helps me in the clinic in so many ways, evangelizing, praying for people, leading us in worship and prayer before each clinic day, organizing and managing the corn project, helping with all of the nutrition children, helping in so many ways each day. I have to admit that when he said that he was leaving, I was very sad. My biggest enemy is self-pity and I was wallowing in it last week! The thought of facing over 1,000 patients each month without Craig's help was...and still is, overwhelming.

We do not recruit people to come here but choose to trust that the Spirit of God will draw those that He chooses to come. It is much the same with our financial need. We almost never ask for money, but trust that God will supply for the need by touching hearts to give. There are so many times when we (well, mostly me) want to jump in and take over when it seems that God is slow to answer. But trusting in the Creator of the Universe has always proved to be the best path to follow. And so we trust now, that God will provide someone to fill the gap that Craig will leave. We trust as well, that God will bless Craig in this new direction that he is heading in. Pray for him - and for us - as we walk through these changes.

We will say good-by to the Allison's tomorrow as well. They have been here for the last three weeks helping in so many ways. Don has filled in in the clinic in Katie's absence, Lori has organized our bookwork, and their children have played with ours. They planned their trip many months ago, not knowing when our need in the clinic would be the greatest. But as always, God is faithful to provide exactly what we need, in exactly the right timing. He is so good...always!

Yesterday was our "Sabbath" and as always, it was wonderful to rest and spend time with our family and the Lord. This has been a difficult week for a lot of reasons...but as we set this time apart to pray and reflect on the goodness of the Lord, we find refreshment and strength to start again this week.

Yesterday morning two nurses from the Puesto de Salud (the government clinic here in town) knocked at our gate asking for help with twins that were born early Tuesday morning up in one of the villages. We have been helping them prenatally and with milk for the one year old sister. It seems that mom gave birth in the morning but the placenta did not descend afterward and 12 hours later she died. Her husband is away working on the coast leaving grandma to care for all their children and now these twin babies who seem amazingly, very healthy. It is hard to believe that they did not seek help when mom was hemorrhaging but there is no 911 here and I am sure the grandma had no way of calling for someone to help, nor the means to pay for a rented car to come down to Canilla where someone could have helped them. Senseless...

Then in the afternoon, we received a call from our friend Victor who runs the drug and alcohol rehab center in Quiche. One of the young men who lived there for almost a year...a young man who had recovered from alcohol addiction and whose diabetes had come under control, who had accepted Jesus as his Savior and who had begun to live and work and recuperate...was dead. He started drinking again a week ago and although Victor had chased him down and pleaded with him to return on two different occasions, he did not. He said he didn't want to live. They found him dead on the street yesterday and the autopsy showed that he died of intoxication. Senseless...

Sunday in clinic Armondo and I spent over an hour talking with a woman who has 11 children and is beaten almost daily by her husband. I have known her for several years and never seen her smile. By law here in Guatemala, if she leaves, she will loose the right to her home and she will be destined to live on the street with her 11 children. So she continues to live with the fear that this man may kill her or one of her children. Senseless...

I could go on and on telling stories of the suffering and pain that we are faced with every single day. The weak words of encouragement and the little bit of food or medicine that we offer seem so inadequate in the face of such huge need. But prayers offered up to the Creator of the Universe, to the only One who can bring change...in this we trust that true change can come. In Him we trust that hearts can be healed and pain be relieved...because we know and we rest in the fact that God is a righteous judge who sees and understands. And as I laid all of these - and other situations before the Lord in prayer, I could almost hear Him say, "Be still...and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10) We trust that somehow out of all of these "senseless" situations, that He will be exalted, that He will change "mourning into dancing."

We leave in a few minutes for San Pedro (out in the Zona Reina). We are waiting for the call to say that it is safe to land there. We have not been out to San Pedro since the end of December to do a day of clinic. But we have been out several times for emergencies. One little boy who was shot in the head while at school, another who fell off a horse and was unconscious several hours later, another two day old baby who needed emergency surgery. At times like these we are so grateful to have the airplane and the ability to get out to these areas to help. And at the same time we become so frustrated with the lack of help once the children get to the hospital. The little boy with the gun shot wound was left waiting in the ICU in Xela because the CT scan was "broken down". But at least now they have a CT scan...that works sometimes.



I have postponed our clinic day in San Pedro until today because I have been a little short of help with Katie recuperating from the birth of Anna. Thankfully, Don Allison is here to help me shoulder some of the responsibility that I feel. I have several others who will come to help as well...Craig, Sally and Armondo. As I was praying this morning, I remembered what my friend Bonnie always said to me, "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips those He calls." I am feeling pretty inadequate this morning but trusting that He will give to us all that we will need today.



More when we return....

Friday evening... We had a great day in San Pedro. We made it in even though it was pretty cloudy and drizzly all day. Duane is so familiar now with the area that it was "no problem" as he said. It was cloudy all day so it was cool...so cool that I never took my sweater off! Normally you start to sweat the moment you step out of the plane. We saw around 100 people - lots of sick children with pneumonia and ear infections. We did one house visit to a young woman who could not get out of bed. She had been told by the traveling medicine salesman that she had an incurable disease and that she would die soon. She was afraid and started to cry when we talked to her about Jesus. Amazingly, her husband told us about his recurring dreams where the Lord was calling him to "come to Him." So they accepted the Lord and we are believing that she will begin to recuperate quickly. That made out entire trip worth it!!

Praise God for the safe arrival of Joshua and Anna!

I went back to Illinois last Monday to help Ryan and Katie during the planned induction of Joshua. It turned out to be a very easy, (much easier than the first!) gentle birth. Joshua weighed 7 pounds 4 ounces and seems to be a very peaceful little baby. His older brother Jacob is already protective and very much the "big brother" who became very upset when the nurses carried Joshua off to the nursery. Katie came home from the hospital Wednesday afternoon and Wednesday evening I recieved a call from Katie Shaw...who was in labor in Guatemala. So early the next morning I left Marine hoping to make it home in time to help her in whatever way I could. Duane and Aaron flew her into the City early Thursday morning, barely making into the birthing center in time for Anna's arrival. 13 Minutes and 5 pushes later she was born - also a very easy delivery for a first time mom! By God's grace, both Katies and both babies are healthy and strong and most definitely beautiful! Two grandchildren in two days...as my sister said, "my cup overflows!"

Without Katie's help in the clinics for the next several weeks, I have been concerned about how I would care for everyone...but as always, God is faithful to supply for every need. Dr. Heidi "just happened" to be here for the week doing surgeries in Chichicastenengo and finished a day early so she came out here to Canilla to greet baby Anna. Saturday morning, before Duane flew her into the City for her return flight to the US, she helped me finish care for all the pregnant women. About 15 minutes after she left, we had a small team of medical students and Dr. Richard arrive to help finish the day and they stayed to help me yesterday in San Andres where we saw about 120 patients. Don and Lori Allison arrive on Thursday with their family. They will be here for the next few weeks to help in clinics as well. God is so good and His faithfulness to supply for all of our needs never ceases to amaze me!

I feel like I am in a "holding pattern" - a term that I am familiar with, being married to a pilot for many years. I am circling, waiting...for many things to fall into place. Both of our daughter in laws are pregnant and due any second - one here in Guatemala, the other in the US. I want to be there for both births, knowing that to do that, I will need a miracle from God. But beyond that immediate waiting, I sense that there is more.

Early Saturday morning we recieved a call from a health care worker in San Marcos, out in the Zona Reina. He had a mom in labor who needed to get to the hospital right away. So Duane and I rushed to get out there as quickly as possible, only to find on our arrival, that the baby had died. She was born breech ( feet first). That is the second call that we have had from that village in the last few weeks for a complicated birth. None of the women there recieve prenatal care. I am frustrated by that - knowing that we could provide it - but knowing as well that I cannot take on much more responsibilty without more help. And so we wait...in that holding pattern...trusting that God's timing is perfect.

We have several construction projects going, in the anticipation of many folks who are coming this year. We are adding a room onto the clinic, and re-modeling another here in the house. Most of those who are coming are not medically oriented but we have learned that when God has a plan, He begins to move people around like puzzle peices. We don't know what His puzzle will ultimately look like but we are confident that it will be beautiful...and so we wait.

In this season of waiting, the Lord has led me several times to Psalm 23. If you are like me, waiting is frustrating and difficult. But I find great comfort in knowing that He is my Shepherd and that I lack...nothing. And when I let Him, He leads me to grassy pastures and beside quiet waters where my spirit is restored. I find that in those times, I can wait patiently, trusting that He has all things in His hand.

Here is a small family update:
Grace will be 5 tomorrow. We are still waiting for her final name change (at the moment she is "Grace Ficker Ficker" from the Latin tradition of taking both the mother and the father's last names. (One Ficker is bad enough!). Abi's adoption has finally made is through the national process and we are waiting for approval from our local judge.

Hannah will start work today at MD Anderson. We enjoyed getting to know Matt a little better during his brief visit. Rachel is working now as well, teaching an English class to a small group of bi-lingual secretary students at the local high school. She is younger than most of her students! Aaron, David, and Joseph remain busy repairing vehicles...from airplanes to motorcycles...some our own and some for others here in the community. They, along with Craig, have quite a ministry going to a group of young men here in this community who need to experience the love of Jesus.